What else would little boys do?

Vive la différence!  

(A small, yet hugely vacillating addendum:  Below, the gender specific terms I use should, in general, be understood to be underwritten by my belief that in the 'bigger sense', they are ultimately references to role, rather than gender. Thus to the avid reader, my numerous equivocations with terms like: man, woman, guy, girl…etc, they are worth speculating over. Just not here.)

There are a lot of different ways that the cultures of the world are strikingly paradoxical. Like how people are people wherever you go and yet even with your most intimate companions you'll sometimes struggle with the notion that you're even in the same world . One of the most persistent and unnerving similarities that I recognize from in so many cultures, and seemingly across time in all of them, is the subordinate role of women.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that it bugs the shit out of me.  In particular the ways that I personally enforce that role. That and the fact that women do it to themselves. It's that last bit that saves my sanity in the end by the way. That they do it to themselves.

I had had this weird revelation while watching the movie Baraka.  There is a part during the movie where scenes of live chicks being processed in a factory are juxtaposed with scenes of crowds of people getting onto the subway during rush hour, in what I suppose is Japan.  While watching it, apologies to the finely crafted makers of the soundtrack, but I kept hearing the refrain of "Just" by Radiohead.

You do it to yourself, you do

And that's what really hurts

Is that you do it to yourself

Just you, you and no one else

It struck me how obvious it was once I had thought it: We do it to ourselves. Not only that, but we do much, much worse. I mean, if you've ever looked at history you'll find that amongst the many things we've accomplished as a species, the kinds of vile, soul-blackening atrocities that we've done to each other can't really be rivalled by much (well, perhaps, only this). And if we can perpetrate that kind on horror on actual people? Those chicks never stood a chance.

Oddly, I think that the whole thing is tied up in issues of perception.  By and large I think that people wish to be perceived as what they want to be, or think they should be,  rather than what they are.  Like the idea that men are logical and women are emotional. There are a whole host of problems with that statement, not the least of which, to my mind, is that even if there is some value in the distinction, I'm pretty sure that it's ass-backwards.

First of all, being emotional is not the opposite of being logical. The opposite would be illogical: a state where your aims are not supported by your actions.  I find that even if women pay more attention to their emotions, the way that they deal with them is far from illogical. Again, I would suggest that in fact, they deal with their emotions in a far more logical fashion than do men. This, I suspect, is due to a wider range of emotions that women allow themselves to feel. Sort of a "practice makes perfect" scenario.

I'm not suggesting that men are unemotional. Rather that we tend to allow ourselves to experience our emotions on a much narrower band. Clearly I'm exaggerating, but I would say that they can probably be summed up in two distinct categories:

                                 

1. Hulk smash! 

and

2. Heeeeey, baby! What'choo doin'?

                                                            

Interestingly, I've found there to be a soft correlation between reactions of men and women when I explain this theory. Women tend to consider what I've said and then they either accept or reject it. Men seem to get angry or insulted. Admittedly they will usually follow up with a rationalization as to why I am wrong, but it was not their first reaction. And to stretch the metaphor even further, I think this is true for how men get through life: act first, rationalize after. This is the crux of the problem.

I really think that men value logic and reason so much because it is probably the only way we have of dealing with emotions outside of the two mentioned above.  Logic is a way of cutting away those emotional annoyances and yet still be left with some way of dealing with whatever the situation.  Logic is, at it's root a very simplistic way of dealing with complex issues. Which, again, sounds very male to me. Logic omits anything that doesn't fit into it's structure.

I've also heard many times that women are multi-taskers and spend a lot of time thinking about relationships between people and how to navigate through them. To my ears, all of this lends more credence to the idea that women are more logical than men. If not logical, then at least more reasonable. Thinking about all the possible iterations of peoples relationships, how they interact and then weighing them against each other- these are all indicators of a mind that is doing a lot of rationalizing and decision making; hallmarks of logic and reason.  I also find that most women do not make snap decisions. I mean it happens, but not so much. Putting this in contrast to the one-track, task oriented mind that wants to simplify decisions…well, the case doesn't look to good for the guys. At the root of it men react with emotion whereas women react with deliberation.

There is another metaphor. One of my favorites. It holds that there are two kinds of people in the world: Pirates or Ninjas.  A Ninja is the kind of person who sits back, analyzes a situation until they understand it as best they can and then acts with precise deliberation and achieve a flawless result. A Pirate however, launches into any situation. With guns blazing and sword swinging, they just plow through any problems that might arise until they reach their goal. Or more simply, Women will read the instruction manual and men will just start pushing buttons. Yeah? Good. Because that closed a pretty big loop.